Happiness is within urself

Well again writing after a pretty long time…. But my coming posts will not experience such delays as I can fetch plenty of time for my writing now…
And this post is bit strange as I am writing it in office..in those short gaps between work which others would take to make a call or sutta break, I don’t need either of them so I spend it like this…. Lot has happened in a short while/ in between the last post and this one. Guess this is life.


And again people around me say :” whatever happens, happens for good”. Yeah it surely does, not because it is really good but because when things are out of your zone of control u better feel its happening for good…. Doesn’t make anything better for u but yeah this kinda pseudo hope that good things are to follow after this , gives u an inane strength to fight with the current situation. And that’s how most of us live.


So I sit here wid my earphones plugged in and this song which recently came to my notice and I kinda liked it…. Its from the movie “ I hate love storys”,…, though the movie was pathetic and fell flat on its face but this song rejuvenates me , as long as i am not reminded of this movie…, just the music, lyrics and me. So when we are listening to any song,.. is it only the music or the lyrics we are thinking about?…. Naah der are umpteen number of things playing at the back of our head. We connect the music with some or other thing happening in our life and identify with it. So that’s the reason some songs makes us smile, some come up with beautiful memories,.. some makes us cry and so on.

Its awesome weather now a days and I guess Delhi seldom was blessed with such heavy rainfall. It comes with some perks like damaged roads, traffic jams, water clogging etc etc. But still these raindrops have something magical in them. They bring the whole city alive and during these hours I just wish to sit idle with a coffee mug and off course “the music”. Just sitting and looking at the raindrops falling on windowpanes,… I don’t know if u like it or not but I really love watching raindrops crashing on glass. This awesome music playing in my ears, perfect romantic weather, aroma of the wet earth, coffee mug in ur hand….. what else u wish for.

At the back of my head play memories of the finest moments of my life along with the music track. We all should spend some time with ourselves, in introspection.
Life is so fast that some of us don’t even get time to revel in the memories of our best times. We all want to create beautiful memories,… we take lot of photos, we make so many videos and then get on with our hectic schedule hardly bother to rejoice these moments. So frens take out time to relive these moments , browse through ur old family album, teachers day at school, freshers party, farewell party, trips with ur frens, some beautiful moments with ur girlfriend or boyfriend. You will still feel the excitement of that particular moment, it was so filled with happiness and love.
So guys just enjoy these moments of ur life and have fun :) 

MEMORY DOWN THE LANE...

MEMORY DOWN THE LANE...

I wana go back to the time when we dint know what fear was.

I wana go back to the time when everything in the world seemed possible.

I wana go back to the time when love was Mom and Dad.

I wana go back to the time when hatred was our homework.

I wana go back to the time only thing we use to be afraid of was mom’s scolding.

I wana go back to the time when our all the time was for our friends.

I wana go back to the time when our worst enemies were siblings.

I wana go back to the time when the moon use to be “chanda mama”.

I wana go back to the time when a chocolate was the highest reward.

I wana go back to the time when we always wanted to grew up fast.

I wana go back to the time when evening were for nothing but to play.

I wana go back to the time when we eagerly use to wait for Sunday.


But the saddest part is that I cant go back to that time,

Those days are a part of dream, those moments are sublime.

But still ruminating upon it makes my heart pump fast…

What makes me smile today is a thing of the past.

Why Do We Cry :-(

Well it is said that crying is a more complicated process than one would at first imagine.
Goin with the scientific reason: - There are really three different types of tears. Basal tears keep our eyes lubricated constantly. Reflex tears are produced when our eyes get irritated, like with onions or when something gets into our eyes. The third kind of tear is produced when the body reacts emotionally to something. Each type of tear contains different amounts of chemical proteins and hormones. Scientists have discovered that the emotional tears contain higher levels of manganese and the hormone prolactin, and this contributes in a reduction of both of these in the body; thus helping to keep depression away.
But who the hell thinks about all this , when we cry, we don’t care whether our emotional tear is filled with manganese and hormone prolactin,….. all we know is that we are hurt , we feel so emotionally weak and shattered. If I had to put it I shall say wen we cry the reason is always someone very close to our heart as they only have the power to batter us….. and this power is given by us only. We consider them larger than life for us and when they fall short on our expectations or some unexpected behavior being displayed by them….. it cuts like a knife. Unintentionally tears roll down our eyes and our heart is filled with grief.
And these EXPECTATIONS…. They are seldom fulfilled…. We all have heard it or being told by some or other, that you should not expect, the kinda Geeta gyan “karm kare jaa phal ki chinta mat kar”…. But at the end of all this is that God made us “human” and the very basic nature of human is to expect. Despite knowing the side effects we expect. And its like a vicious circle… we expect, we are hurt, we cry….we again expect, we are hurt, we cry…..
Crying is at the very core of it… especially if u happen to be the ‘weaker sex’ like me. The very human is emotional and the God made us all the more emotionally sensitive….so guys its not our fault if we cry…. U better blame the almighty.

So all my frens out there i just wana say dont cry for some-one who doesnt deserve it cuz ur tears are really very precious dont waste it for some dumb-witted guy who hurts u every now and then....its beter be some-one who comes a long way just to wipe your tears, gives u a tight bear hug...and helps finding ur lost smile once again... :)

SMOky Life...

I want to live like smoke,
Light and buoyant
Carrying no burden of life
I float I float.

To flow with the wind
Where-ever it takes me
Travelling varied places
I am free I am free.

No-one can touch me
No-one can hold,
Taking different shapes
I mould I mould.

He looks at me
With detest in his eyes
Leaving him alone
I fly I fly.

And then I touch the sky,
It accepts me with open arms
After all dirty streets,
Lands and farms,
Will never capitualte,
I vowed.
Then I start melting down
and get absorbed in clouds.

wAkE up SID...

Itz amazing that when you watch a movie and those three hours you get so engrossed in it, put out of your mind your daily worries. BUT provided that the movie is worth watching otherwise you go through a series of torture and then repenting to have wasted your time and more importantly ur meager funds, if u happen to be a student like me!
We went for this movie yesterday, not an awesome movie though but yes surely a good watch just to go offtrack from your daily monotonous life. It was kinda nice flick on which I ruminated upon for long. It makes u realise how important are friends in ur life. And wen I say friends I mean “true” friends , not any Tom Dick and Harry who happens to talk to you and therefore is one of ur fren. A true friend is a little more than a very good friend. I mean here friends who are there with u alwayz regardless of other various factors. Some one has said that a true friend is the one who knows the song in ur heart n can sing it back to u wen u hv forgotten the lyrics.
And then about the ‘perfect’ guy. Don’t we all gals make a picture of this guy we want to be with, one who has got the best compostion and combination of looks, personality, status etc etc etc… But what if we really get a guy like this? will he be able to keep us happy? Well that part is something we don’t calculate as we are already aware that the picture that we have have built is really not possible to get in flesh n blood. And now the question arises that Who can keep u happy? When are u happy? Do we really need others to keep us happy? It is said that we should not try to find happiness around ourselves but in ourselves. But seriously with whom are you most happy? May be with someone in front of whom you are what you are. Who loves u the way u are. In front of whom u can let go “weigh before u say” part for a toss and just speak ur mind, ur thoughts pure and unaltered. And more importantly who takes ur thoughts in the same manner as they are intented. And THAT person need not be ur Mr. Perfect. It could even be ur best friend. Someone who comes first in ur mind wen u r in a soup or wen u r feeling blue. Someone after talking to whom you feel everything is in its place and the world makes sense again. Someone who can pull u out of ur shell and make you live life to its fullest. Someone with whom you enjoy doing even the most stupid of things. And the list goes on….
You don’t agree with me! Go and watch the movie den u myt b able to get what i hv written over here.

I'm waiting for what?

Waiting and waiting…
I still don’t know what I am waiting for
I can feel something missing inside
And look out if dre is ne cure

Life has been like this
Days pass by, nights undistinguished
Still something huge I miss

I feel twitchy banging my head
I cry out but the voice has gone
everything around me is dark
N I am waitin for the dawn

So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
and grumbled “So, I’m waiting…for what?”

bLaCkEnEd HeArT...

I sit there and pray to God
that it wont be long,
I cant go on pretending,
People say I am strong,
Then why m I falling apart???
I can feel the tears falling inside,
Inside my blackened heart.

And I feel like
I am walking down an endless path,
The road to nowre,
And I cant find my way back,
And there's no one here to save me
From falling into my blackened heart.

I fall to the ground,
Still as the night,
I lay there like a helpless child,
black teardrops falling from my eyes,
As I look up to the sky,

The stars are my only light,
Praying for an angel to extend hand,
praying for someone to understand,
And for someone to save me from myself!!!